Some Things for the Groom to Think
Your wild oats are sown,
the wedding date is set and your buddies are behind you. For many
grooms, this is the dawn in a new era of personal relationship. To
others, the work is over and all he has to do is coast into
You, however, will be a different groom. You will see this season
before the wedding as a time to “groom” yourself into becoming the
husband of this worthy woman’s dreams. When she looks into your eyes
at the ceremony, you’ll have a look for her that will never be
shared with another.
No matter how hip and wonderful you were as a boyfriend or
house-partner, you can be a better fiancé if you make this a period
of self-improvement. Some things can be done to polish your image
for the big day, while others can change you for life.
Here are just a few general ideas to consider.
1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. The role of fiancé did not stop when you got
up from your knee at the proposal. There are some things you must do
out of tradition and others out of your devotion to your fiancé. Get
on line and research “groom’s responsibility.” You will be read
about organizing your family and traditional expectations. Don’t
avoid the information. Devour it!
2. BE SUPPORTIVE. She’s going to get stressed from time to time and
you are going to have to listen to some details that might seem
irrelevant to you. If you listen, keep track of the wedding’s
progress together and give her your opinion when asked, you’ll be
3. EXECUTE SOME IMPROVEMENTS. This would include taking
responsibility and being supportive, as many grooms are not. Use
this time to take your manners, your speech, and your personal
grooming to a new level.
Open a door for her. Wash her car and fill up the tank, weekly. You
don’t have to join Promise Keepers to suggest sitting together at
church more often, improving your spiritual awareness as you grow
together. Be the one to suggest saying grace more often.
4. ENJOY YOUR WEDDING DAY. Wedding day comfort is not always found
in a flask of Maker’s Mark. You’ll have more than jitters if you
invite the town moron to be in your wedding party. Choose your
entourage carefully, knowing you are surrounded by honest, caring
men who love you like you are.
Get a tux that fits. Don’t go to prom shop and get a coat stapled
together and pants with five or six creases. Forget the “get one
free” and rented shoes and shop for a tux or a suit that makes you
feel like a million dollars. This is no day to be tugging at your
sleeves or leaving the shirt unbuttoned because it’s too tight.
Don’t even think of leaving the tux shop without putting on the tux,
after the final fitting, and make sure it feels and looks great!
5. LAST MINUTE ADVICE. Remember to have a soft linen handkerchief in
your coat pocket. You, your bride or mother just might need it.
Be prepared to toast your bride after the best man toasts you.
You’ll score big points if you are sincere.
Don’t ask her if she bought a wedding present for you…and make sure
you have one for her! This is no time to stand with glazed eyes at
the mall. Listen for any hint of something that will surprise her
and make her feel special! (No, lingerie makes you feel special,
Your wild oats are sown, the wedding date is set and your buddies
are behind you. This is the dawn in a new era of personal
relationship. When she looks into your eyes at the wedding, remember
you have become your best. She really is worth it!
Get a Ring for Christmas?
Hope you got what you
wanted for Christmas! For many ladies it was an engagement ring
presented on Christmas day or New Year’s Eve. For many men, it was
that she said, “Yes.”
It’s a new ring for a new year. You’re entering a new level of
relationship. You have a fresh start on a new era from a solitary
life to partnership. There’s no more flirting with intention. The
little black book is history. This New Year is the start of a new
Don’t look back now, but look forward to what this New Year offers
you! Engagement and the New Year give you the opportunity to do more
than just wear new jewelry! How about the opportunities to work on
an even better you?
The New Testament book of Colossians contains the controversial
verses about “submitting” to husbands. We won’t go there. However,
the third chapter of this short book has some marvelous guidance for
this new era in your life.
It says, “Put to death…immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and
greed…rid yourself of anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy
language,” to which we say, “We can handle that.”
None of us would want to be the fiancé that demonstrates those
character defects. However, reality says some couples have a partner
that does still lust, rage and cuss like a sailor. How about a New
Year’s resolution to “put to death” one or more of those
Paul, the author of Colossians, doesn’t give us just the “don’ts.”
He goes on to write sage advice that is shared in many wedding
ceremonies, “…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness,
gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive each
other…as God forgives us…and over all these virtues, put on love
which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Add those to the
new ring and you’ve got a great start for a New Year and a new you.
Putting on good manners and taking responsibility for one’s
character is exactly what will “put to death” the traits we do not
want in our relationship. There’s a little exercise that can be done
with another of Paul’s historic love verses from the 13th chapter of
his first letter to the Corinthians. Try saying this verse with a
twist…using “I” in place of the word love…
”I am patient, I am kind. I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not
proud. I am not rude, I am not self-seeking, I am not easily angered
and I keep no record of wrongs. I do not delight in evil, but
rejoice with the truth. I always protect, I always trust, I always
hope and I always persevere.”
Wear the ring and hold the hand that wears the ring with love. It’s
what you both wanted for Christmas. And make this New Year the
threshold of a new and better you!
The Most Beautiful Wedding
Every bride dreams of
her beautiful wedding and the moment her groom sees her in the
ceremony aisle. It’s not one fixation that makes the wedding
beautiful, but a combination of things.
Consider all the elements. The time of day may be morning or sunset,
inside or out, perfect weather, form-fitting dress, gorgeous
location, and the cutest flower girl. Your coiffed hair &
professional make up, manicured nails and 90-minute massage have you
stress-free and glowing.
Going overboard to create a beautiful wedding is common. Some
believe the most expensive elements must be the finest. Beautiful
flowers, beautiful favors, beautiful seat covers, beautiful photos,
and beautiful bridesmaids dresses make for, well, a beautiful, and
sometimes costly wedding. It makes for a "beauty" of debt for some.
Then it turns ugly. The reverend arrives late and has booze on his
breath. The caterer thought you said, “Hot Dogs,” not Haagen-Daz.
The DJ overloads the main power board and there’s no electricity.
Finally the town Marshall arrives to shut the place down for zoning
and health code violations.
Imagine having planned your wedding near the Gulf of Mexico in
hurricane season! There have been many beautiful weddings cancelled
due to disasters of epic proportions.
With so many necessary elements in a beautiful wedding, there are
just as many fundamentals to disappoint the dreaming bride. No
wonder there are wedding planners!
What makes a beautiful wedding, truly beautiful? As long as there’s
not a process server with paternity papers waiting in the parking
lot, it’s your relationship.
This isn’t just the bride’s day; it’s the bride and groom’s day. The
most important thing on your beautiful wedding day is what you two
have cooking! Your relationship is the “beauty” that will enable you
“let go” of a stressful wedding planning season and remember that
nothing is going to ruin it. You can sue the church later!
Webster says beautiful is “having qualities that delight the senses,
especially the sense of sight.” If you lay eyes on, that is, meet
and greet just twice a day for 50 years, that’s going to be 36,500
beautiful encounters with the one you truly love.
The outdoor ceremony might have to come inside due to the rain. The
cake has been accidentally knocked off the table at more than one
wedding. The limo could get stuck in traffic after fixing a flat
tire. To assume the worst, or at least accept less than perfect, is
the first step toward achieving a beautiful wedding day. It’s about
making eye contact in the ceremony aisle for the first time and
knowing what your heart feels is real beauty.
Gwen & Phil Waring
PLANNING BOOKS & PLANNING SYSTEM
"A Hug is a
roundabout way of expressing affection!"
articles about weddings
Balloon Decorating - Possibilities
Balloon Flowers for
Children at the
by Phil Waring
Distribute Disposable Cameras
Drape a Cake Table or Head Table
Floral Hoops for Attendants
a Good Fit (Wedding Attire)
Give a Listen (before Hiring Musicians)
A Little Romance
The Most Beautiful Wedding
Pay Attention to the Obvious: Find the Professionals and Avoid the
The Tussey Mussey.
Did You Know?
Unusual Ring Presentation
Wedding Day Emergency
Wedding Trivia: The Tussey Mussey
You Might Be Surprised...Did You Know? (Things you should know about
planning a wedding)
GIFTS FOR THE BRIDAL PARTY
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are not available just anywhere